Post by Lone Dancer on Nov 12, 2022 0:52:30 GMT
Chapter 7
Recovery
The world Carlos woke up to was a blurry, grey world with hazy concerned faces. Trying to prop himself up to remain steady, his entire left arm was stiff. But functional. Memories came flooding back, and the world sharpened. He quickly located Jade among the faces around him, alongside Hawthorne.
He mouthed ‘did we do it?’ to her, and to his relief, she nodded with an odd look in her eye. Feeling satisfied that at least it was a success, he crashed back down into the cot he was lying on. Sure there was a mishap, but how was he meant to know there was one in the van? Of course, he should’ve checked first, but his Ego rush left him arrogant, he responded to himself.
Among the faces of the unfamiliar, who he took to be the doctors, there was one other face he recognized.
The old one-eyed Guild Leader. He had an active frown on his face, and was staring directly at Carlos. The ancient mage coughed, and cleared his throat.
“That was perhaps one of the saddest displays I have ever seen for a first mission,” the words hit Carlos like a hammer and even Jade winced in the background. But the mage continued nonetheless, “However, you did succeed in obtaining the briefcase, so it wasn’t an abject failure.”
Carlos made to speak, but was shot down by the Guild Leader.
“What bothers me is not the wound. It is only to be expected in our line of work that things happen. Accidents are a thing, after all. But you know how you got your wound? It was a preventable accident. In other words, it was an avoidable injury.”
He could feel himself sinking into the cot further as the old man spoke. But they stopped and rubbed at their eyes.
“I’m going to have Hawthorne teach you how to deal with Ego feedback so this doesn’t happen again. Because if it does, you’re out. It was in your favor that the objective contained more than we anticipated. Beyond your mishap, you performed well, according to your friend over here.”
Jade shot him a small thumbs up. Which was nice, but Carlos was busy basking in the sensation of relief that he wasn’t being booted from the Guild. This time, Hawthorne spoke up.
“Well, lad, that was my bad. I didn’t prepare you enough to deal with Ego rush properly. It will be my endeavor to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
He acknowledged the small hooded man, but was still distracted by the relief. A more clinical voice spoke up, who he assumed to be one of the doctors.
“While this meeting was nice, my patient still needs some time to recover. So if you kindly would, shoo.” At their word, people began to leave. There weren’t many, to begin with, but the few that were quickly became none.
The doctor loomed over them, face impassive. Nevertheless, hints of caring shined through their eyes.
“Alright now, sleep.”
Carlos wanted to protest, to say he wasn’t tired, but encroaching slumber overtook him faster than he could resist.
###
He willed the old shield to fade away, before conjuring another in its place. A marble smacked into him.
“Faster.”
Frowning, he dispelled the shield and resummoned it. But it didn’t stop the small marble from hitting his chest. Hawthorne was already tossing another up and down with his hand.
“You’re damn lucky the spell the automaton had was slow with these reaction times. Now, faster.”
He tried to quell the rising frustration, but it was getting harder with every new conjure. Yet again, the marble hit him before the shield popped into existence. Using focusing breaths to try to remain calm, he tried to ignore the faint lightheaded feeling. The constant casting was taking its toll.
But still, the marble collided with his chest. It didn’t even hurt that bad physically, but it was the mark of failure that stung. At the back of his head, his Ego whispered at him to embrace it, to show these ants true power.
“Is my Ego meant to be this insidious?” He asked while getting another shield in place that did nothing to stop the incoming marble.
“It’s the Mages’ curse. It gets worse the more you fall prey to it, but it weakens the longer you resist.”
Carlos frowned.
“That seems easy to down spiral then.”
Hawthorne shrugged.
“Many do; it’s why it is hard to find competent Mages. They fail to find a healthy way to channel their Ego. So they slowly feed into the delusions, causing them to become arrogant, haughty. Powerful? Yes, but they’re more like children than adults at that stage.”
“Is there any way to remove Ego?” Carlos had a feeling he knew the answer, but he wanted to be sure.
“And cripple yourself in the process? Sure, you can perform a magical lobotomy and never have to worry about your Ego again. Hell, you wouldn’t have to worry about much at all, at that point.”
“Oh.”
Another marble, another failure, but he felt like he was closing in on the gap. Just needed to be a bit faster. As he conjured, he kept the conversation up as it was a way for him to keep his mind distracted from his Ego.
“How do your sigils work, if I can ask.” He was always curious about Hawthorne’s Arcane sigils, ever since he first demonstrated them.
Hawthorne tossed yet another conjured marble at him.
“Best way to explain it is I took runic magic and used it to augment my spells.”
“What?”
Hawthorne sighed, flinging yet another marble. Carlos’s head was pounding now. He lost track of how many Arcane shields he’s conjured. His shield snapped into place right after the marble hit him.
“As I said, I took runes, and directly inscribed them into my own magic. They empower my spells to do specific effects, and lessen the load, so to speak. It does require a pretty deep understanding of the rune lexicon to successfully pull off, however.”
“I see. That’s interesting.”
He grunted as he summoned yet another shield. Ego was definitely was starting to make its mark. It lessened the pressure, but he could feel his thoughts changing. It would be so easy just to give in, it whispered. If he embraced it, he could stop the marbles, and make Hawthorne regret creating a fool of him.
With its ever-steady rhythm, he was struck by a marble, somewhat snapping him from his thoughts.
“Come on now, fight those thoughts. As I said before in my earlier lessons, it’s like any muscle.”
Hawthorne was starting to pick up the pace, tossing more and more conjured marbles in quick succession. Carlos tried to block the onslaught, but ended up swiftly pelted. Every impact reminded him of his own failure.
Carlos clenched his fists. The constant repetition was causing him a migraine. Ego was passively pushing back against it, but he was incredibly wary of giving it an inch, as it would take a mile.
As he watched Hawthorne toss the marble for the zillionth time, he saw it soar through the air, before smacking into an Arcane disk. His shield.
He did it.
The jubilant feeling pushed back against the migraine, against the whispers of Ego, as they were now somewhat satisfied. He wanted to jump in the air. Until the next marble hit him.
“Don’t celebrate just yet. Gotta do it again, make sure it wasn’t a fluke.”
Carlos wanted to glare at Hawthorne, but decided against it, resigning himself to his fate. He was thankful, at least, for the respite he had gained.
He messed up the following two, but successfully blocked the third, the fourth, and the fifth.
“There we go, now you’re getting the hang of it. Now we can move on to more advanced practice.”
“What?”
He was tired, and hearing the words ‘advanced practice’ made him feel the desire to jump off a cliff.
“I’ve been tossing it the same way all this time. Let’s see you adapt to new directions.”
While he could not see his face, he could still hear the evil smile in Hawthorne’s voice. The short mage was surprisingly expressive despite the lack of a visible face.
Those thoughts went out the window as something hit his leg, and he was forced to re-adjust his focus. Then the marble hit his arm.
The sound of marbles plopping off of him, and then dinking when they hit the stone floor echoed throughout the room. Carlos was desperately trying not to get hit as Hawthorne was tossing them harder now.
He managed to successfully block one of these marbles, but it was proven just a fluke as he was unable to replicate the feat again. Attrition was reaching its max, and he was unsure if he could continue on much longer, if it all. He decided to share his thoughts with his instructor/
“Hawthorne, I don’t think I can continue. I have a splitting headache and have an urge to go around prancing about.”
Mercifully, his mentor stopped.
“Alright then. Give yourself a half hour break, and then you can resume physical training with Melissa. We need to make sure that arm is fully functional, after all.”
Carlos suppressed the urge to groan aloud, but Hawthorne easily detected his less than stellar mood.
“I know, life is great. But hey, you wanted this. You need to be mentally and physically fit to be a successful member of our Guild here.”
“Yes, but is there any way beyond this constant cycle?”
He was aware of what he signed up for, he just wasn’t aware of how constantly he would be doing it.
“Nah. Just about every recruit goes through this training. Different instructors, but we all follow similar lesson plans, like how we were taught ourselves.”
“How many recruits do you even get regularly?”
Carlos was currently making way to the table with some refreshments, like water, when he asked his question. Hawthorne once more shrugged in response.
“Eh, not a lot, but not a few either. Personally, you’re like my third group I’ve trained. I’m not sure about Melissa, so if you want to know what number you are, ask her.”
He nodded, chugging down some sweet, sweet refreshing water. It first amazed him how much some hydration helped with magic headaches. It was something Hawthorne joked about when he wasn’t in a more serious training mode. He’d say that successful Mages were the hydrated ones, or something to that extent.
“Well, go enjoy your break, I’m gonna go get some personal business, so I’ll see you later. But before I go, I just wanted to congratulate you on getting the first level with the shield blocking done. I regret not teaching you sooner, but I feel like you knowing the stakes assists with focus.”
Hawthorne waved his goodbye to Carlos, gliding his way across the floor towards the exit and leaving him all alone with his water. While the training room was cool and all, he didn’t exactly like being alone in it, with how every sound felt amplified, and he could hear his own heartbeat in the sudden encroaching silence.
His water now finished, he took the bottle with him as he made his own exit. Thankfully, the warm glow of the magical lanterns never once flickered. If they did, he was pretty sure the spook factor would be way more amplified.
He was now out in the hallway, but a mental path now memorized by two weeks of walking it helped him steer him out of the underground section of the Guild building. Walking up the staircase, he listened to the sound of his own footsteps echoing off up and down.
Reaching the top, he made his way into the main room. At this point, he was just another face in the crowd, and he was hardly paid attention to. It was a reassuring feeling, and he no longer felt alienated. He was just, one of them now, albeit still in heavy training.
He started to make his way to the kitchen area to catch what food they were currently offering, passing through the noisy crowd. He weaved between folks wearing robes, armor, or more standard clothing. Others wore almost nothing, mainly Cultivators who trusted their own defensive capabilities.
As he wandered closer, the enticing aroma of seared steak fluttered by his nose. Picking up the pace, he could overhear conversations about events going on in people’s lives, how missions went, interesting magical trivia, and more.
But he tuned that out as he joined the rather short line toward the Guild’s tiny kitchen. He wasn’t sure how they supported such a large gathering, but he guessed it was a mix of magic and sheer industriousness.
It didn’t take long, fortunately, for the line to shuffle forward till it was his own turn. Like the last time he was here, he got helpings of steak, rice, and various grilled vegetables. Taking his now-loaded tray, he looked for his own spot among the crowd.
To his pleasant surprise, he was able to spot Jade waving him down from the middle section of all the tables. Making his way toward her, he was wary of bumping into anyone, lest he disturbed them, and dropped his meal.
He was grateful the walk over was a smooth one, and he slid into a seat across from Jade. She was wearing a green jerkin made from a thick, albeit soft leathery material he didn’t recognize.
Steak juice stained dripped from her cheeks as she dropped all sense of decorum devouring her meal. She looked up to give him a cheery smile, before focusing back on her meal. He joined, finding the silence companionable, if you ignored the ruckus around them.
Glad Jade was able to find a secluded table without other people, beyond those in the tables around them, as Carlos just didn’t know enough people here to comfortable in engaging in social activities with yet.
He wanted to fix that later, but now, he was fine with his current bubble being Jade, alongside Hawthorne and Melissa.
Jade paused in the rapid consumption of her meal, swallowed the chunk after a bit of chewing, and locked her verdant eyes with his.
“So, how did the training go?”
He set the fork with the bite of steak on it, responding.
“Eh, got bullied by marbles. Got a headache as a reward to boot.” He chuckled, but in all seriousness, the constant noise wasn’t helping. He just hoped it would get better in time.
Jade frowned, swallowing another slice.
“What exactly did you do, anyways?”
Finishing off some rice first, he answered.
“Hawthorne conjured and then proceeded to toss marbles at me. I then had to conjure my own shields to block them before I got hit. Supposed to help with reflexes and Ego management, but it was rough.”
Jane nodded, considering over something, before breaking into a smile.
“Ah, so the great Carlos was felled by some marbles.”
First, he wanted to grumble, but decided laughing was a better response. It also helped with beating back the stirring of his Ego. What better way than to laugh at yourself, blah blah blah.
Jade was evidently amused, which Carlos was glad for. Memories of her pale, worried face still flashed up to haunt him. He shook it out of his head, focusing on his meal.
It was leagues better than what was offered at the dorm, and beyond anything at his original home. He stopped eating, and grimaced at the flashback. Jade stopped as well, shooting him a concerned look.
“You alright?”
He shook his head once more, giving her a small smile. Or at least, trying to.
“Yah, I am.”
She appeared hardly convinced but dropped the subject. He decided to ask about what she did. He enjoyed his meal, or tried to at least with the now ashy taste in his mouth.
“Well, mostly just exercise and sparring lessons. Been having my butt handed to me.” She paused to eat another bite.
“Mostly just me getting my butt handed to me. But hey, I’m learning.” Jade chuckled to herself before sighing.
“No, but really, even with my constitution, it’s hard to keep up, ya know?” She spun her fork in the air. He nodded.
“Like, I’m trying to keep hanging on, but they can just keep going.”
He really did understand; Hawthorne, although unintentionally, reminded him of the journey he still needed to go before he could even begin to compare.
“Yah, I’m sorry. Feels like a bummer topic.” Jade apologized, which he didn’t quite understand why.
“No, no, it’s fine. I get the feeling. Hawthorne’s has me feeling kinda small. Still can’t even figure out my magical style.”
“I’m sure you’ll realize it soon enough. Just takes time, I guess? I dunno, I’m not an Arcane user like ya, so I ain’t much help, are I.”
Half his plate was gone now, and barely crumbs remained on Jade’s. Well, he was curious about her Elemental progress.
“Slightly on topic, but how goes your Element?”
Jade looked down at the table, a sturdy wooden construction, massaging her temple. Her frustration was obvious.
“It’s a struggle. Getting it to respond well to me is just not working. It just doesn’t want to like me, and I don’t know why.”
She twirled her fork around absentminded, as Carlos continued munching away while listening.
“I think, it’s because I don’t even know what Element I use. I thought I knew, but I’m questioning it now.”
Carlos swallowed a piece of pan-seared broccoli, something he grew a surprising taste for. He thumped his chest to avoid choking after hearing her statement.
“Not an expert in Elementalism, but I take it that’s not good for your understanding of its concept?”
Jade barked a quick laugh.
“Hah, no. The best way I can think of putting it is like studying for a test, but you don’t know which one, so you’re just guessing at this point.”
“Sounds miserable.”
“You have no idea. I’ve been stuck for years because of it.”
Jade muttered that last part, and he didn’t think she quite intended for him to hear that. He could understand why, as that put some things into immediate perspective. A new light that revealed the why behind specific characteristics.
Spirits above, if he were stuck in a rut for years with no idea how to get out of it, he’d be downright miserable indeed.
“Well, I can only hope you find a lead.”
“Me too, Carlos, me too.”
The rest of their meal descended to silence as he went to finish it off, and Jade quietly picked up her now empty tray and walked off back to the kitchen, presumably to either dispose of it or get more servings.
He was stuck with his own ruminations, considering a life where he couldn’t advance because he was hitting some sort of brick wall.
Is that why Jade joined the Defiant Guild?